Writing composition, Year 7: more practice

'School lunches have become much healthier in recent years.'

HintLook for the sentence that makes a point the rest of the paragraph could go on to prove.

The whyA good topic sentence states an idea big enough to develop with detail. The first is a reaction and the second is a bare fact, so neither gives the paragraph anything to explain.

The title or main topic

HintEverything else branches off it.

The whyThe legs of the spider carry the separate ideas or paragraphs. Writing the topic in the middle keeps every branch tied to the question.

'The shop bell rang, though nobody had touched the door.'

HintWhich one makes you want to know what happens next?

The whyThe second opening starts with something strange and leaves a question in the air. The first is a flat start that tells the reader nothing worth wondering about.

A question

HintLook at the punctuation mark that ends the line.

The whyOpening on a question puts the reader straight into the narrator's puzzle. The reader keeps going to find the answer.

'The kitchen smelled of burnt toast and warm cinnamon.'

HintWhich one lets you picture exactly what is in the room?

The whyNaming real things gives the reader something to imagine. A vague word like nice could mean almost anything.

No — write the words in full ('do not', 'cannot')

HintThink about how a stranger expects to be addressed.

The whyFormal writing avoids chatty shortcuts. In a letter to a friend, contractions are fine because they sound like speech.

In the first paragraph

HintThe reader is busy and has never heard of you.

The whyA formal letter states its purpose straight away, then gives reasons in the paragraphs that follow. The reader should never have to hunt for the request.

It moves past unimportant time quickly

HintWould the reader want three whole days of detail?

The whyShowing takes space, so it belongs on the moments that matter. Quick telling keeps the pace up through the parts that do not.

'"I'm tired," said Sam.'

HintThe sentence carries on after the speech, so look at what comes before the closing speech mark.

The whyWhen a speech tag follows, the spoken words end with a comma (or a ? or !) inside the speech marks. A full stop would end the sentence too early.

'their' for 'there'

HintAsk whether the wrong version is still a real word.

The whyA spell-checker only flags letter strings that are not words. 'Their' is a real word, so only a careful read-through will catch it.