In the reward shop, your child can browse everything freely and tap "Ask to claim" on anything they'd like — but no points are actually spent until you approve the request on your dashboard. Nothing is ever redeemed behind your back. A child cannot spend points themselves anywhere in the product; the approval is always yours. It's the same trusted pattern you'll know from Amazon Kids or the Nintendo Switch parental controls — the child gets the fun of choosing, you keep the decision. And a "no" never lands on your child as a cold rejection — it's handled as a conversation, not a red cross.

This is one of the choices we're proudest of, because it solves a real worry: how do you let a child enjoy rewards without handing them a wallet they can raid?

Why "ask-to-claim" instead of letting kids spend

The obvious way to build a reward shop is to let the child spend their own points. We deliberately didn't. Letting a child redeem on impulse turns rewards into a solo dopamine loop — spend, spend, spend — and cuts you out of it entirely.

Instead, spending is split into two halves:

  1. The child does the wanting. They browse the shop, see what their owl level is unlocking next, and ask to claim the thing they've set their heart on. All the anticipation, none of the risk.
  2. The parent does the deciding. The request comes to you, and the points only move when you say yes.

The result is that every redemption becomes a small shared moment — a "you earned this, well done" — rather than something that happened while you weren't looking.

What it looks like on each side

Here's the flow, start to finish:

Step Your child sees You see
1. Browse The reward shop in their My Heddy room, with prices and what each owl level unlocks —
2. Ask Taps "Ask to claim", then a friendly "Asked! Your grown-up will see this." —
3. Waiting Nothing more to do — no countdown, no nagging A request chip at the top of your Heddy points section: "Rina would like: Heddy's Graduation Cap (60 points) · balance after: 70"
4a. You approve The item simply appears as owned — Heddy can wear it One tap; the points are spent and the reward is granted
4b. You set it aside The button quietly returns to "Ask to claim" — never "declined" One tap to dismiss; you talk to your child about it in person

Notice what your child doesn't see at step 4b. There's no rejection screen. A dismissed request just becomes an "ask" again after a while, so if the answer is "not right now", that's a conversation you have face to face — the app never plays bad cop for you.

Where you approve

Requests wait for you in the Heddy points section of your dashboard — which also has its own page at /dashboard/rewards. Waiting requests always sit at the top, because they're the actionable thing, and each chip tells you exactly what you need: which child, which item, its cost, and the balance your child would have left afterwards. Approve or Dismiss is a single tap either way.

On a multi-child account you'll see requests for whichever child you're viewing, using the same child switcher as the rest of the dashboard — one child at a time, no mixing. For the wider tour of the parent view, see Your Family Dashboard, at a Glance.

The quiet safeguards behind it

A few things happen automatically so you don't have to police them:

  • Balance is checked at approval, not just at request. If the points aren't there when you approve, the claim can't go through — you can't accidentally overspend a child's balance.
  • Level-locked items stay locked. A child can't even request a reward their owl level hasn't reached yet, so you'll never be asked to approve something they haven't earned the right to.
  • You can still redeem directly. You don't have to wait to be asked — the catalogue is there on your dashboard for you to grant a reward yourself whenever you like.
  • A distress moment is never a sales moment. As everywhere in the product, a session that raises a safeguarding concern surfaces no reward prompts at all.

Because your child physically cannot spend without you, the reward system inherits your judgement by default. That's the point of building it on the family browser session rather than a child wallet — more on the two-sided setup in My Heddy: The Room, the Shelf, and Dressing Your Owl.

Making approvals a good habit

A little rhythm helps this feel warm rather than bureaucratic:

  • Approve together when you can. Sitting beside your child for the "yes" turns it into a celebration.
  • Use "not yet" honestly. If a reward should wait for a bigger milestone, dismiss it and say why — the app leaves that conversation to you on purpose.
  • Tie it back to effort. A good line is "you earned this by sticking with the hard stuff" — it reinforces that the points came from effort, not just right answers.

You decide what's in reach and what waits — see Setting Up Rewards Your Child Will Actually Work For for the other half of the picture.

FAQ

How do I approve a reward request?

Open your dashboard's Heddy points section (also at /dashboard/rewards). Any waiting requests appear at the top as a chip showing the child, the item, and the points balance afterwards. Tap Approve to grant it and spend the points, or Dismiss to set it aside. It's a one-tap decision.

What does my child see if I dismiss a request?

Never the word "declined". A dismissed request quietly returns to an "Ask to claim" button on the child's side — it doesn't show as a rejection. The idea is that a no is a conversation you have in person, not a red cross the app delivers for you.

Can my child spend points if I never approve anything?

No — and that's the whole design. There is no child-facing way to spend points anywhere in the product. Points can only ever be spent through your approval, so a child can never impulsively redeem, overspend, or unlock something without you seeing it first.

Duke Harewood built aitutors.me for his own KS3-aged daughter. Ask-to-claim exists so a reward is never something that happened behind a parent's back — it's a "yes" you get to say, together. Updated 09 July 2026.